1.29.2006

Ten Things That Need To Happen Before I Start Liking The World Again

10) All Non-Documentary Films and Television Programs Based on the Events of Sept. 11, 2001 and Produced Between 2005 and 2015 Fail Miserably - Seriously, we remember what happened. We don't need anything dramaticized or melodramaticized or CAPITALIZED on. I don't want to see Nic Cage winning an Oscar for Oliver Stone's upcoming September 11th movie. Movie studios, you should wait until you have a legitimate excuse to make these movies, like educating future generations. It's not a myth yet, like Pearl Harbor or The Civil War. It's still reality.

9) Dave Chappelle Starts Doing Sketch Comedy Again - Because he spits hot fire, bitches.

8) A Constitutional Amendment Concerning Gay Marriage is Passed - But one that states explicitly that anyone can get married to anyone (immediate family members excluded).

7) Someone Shuts Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Bill O'Reilly, and Ann Coulter, oh, especially Ann Coulter, the Fuck Up - God is punishing America for its rampant homosexuality by allowing these people to live. Also, we should go to Fox News, kill their leaders, and convert them all to Scientology.

6) Talib Kweli Gets the Recognition He Deserves - If lyrics sold, then, truth be told, he'd probably be just as rich and famous as Jay-Z. He's got rhymes so bright that when he walks by you gotta squint like the motherfuckin' sun in yo' eye. Lyrics like drugs - he's got you hooked on his phonics. You get the point.

5) Arrested Development Comes Back For a Fourth Season, Either On Showtime or ABC - These last two might not seem that important to some people, but my life revolves around the Bluth family and Talib Kweli.

4) America Realizes That God May Not Be On Our Side - I'm not saying that He's on "their" side, I'm just saying that maybe God doesn't play favorites. And if He does, He certainly doesn't do it based on geography. Or wealth.

3) Racial Equality is at Long Last Realized in America - But hey, we're still better than France. No race riots here for a good fifteen years or so.

2) The Steelers Win Superbowl XL - What can I say, it's important to me. My family is from Pittsburgh, and I lost a dollar in 1996 when The Steelers got creamed by the Cowboys in Superbowl XXX. I want that dollar back, damn it!

1) Bush and his Cronies Get The Hell Out The White House - duh.

1 Comments:

Blogger tre ? sez...

Did you try to make the thing about Talib Kweli flow? Cause it did.

9:56 PM  

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